Give it All Away
by MoonliteCrescndo
Summary: AU. To bolster his feminine contacts and (of course) support the Shard House Recovery Foundation, Miroku gleefully accepts the win-a-date job. But what if the woman who won was the one woman who got away?


Hi people,

I just wrote this little ditty because I thought it would be fun.  I wanted to try my hand in a Miroku romance so here it is.  Have fun with it.  It's in a different format than my other stories—I wrote it basically like a play script/screenplay.  It is kind of a Shakespearean style of writing, so just sit back and let the comedy/drama begin.  Have fun and don't forget to write.  Tell me what you think about this…

Read and enjoy,

--MC

P.S. Emeraldjjk helped me a lot with this.  I appreciate all her help and ideas.  She definitely deserves a part of this recognition.  You're awesome.  

Disclaimer: This story is mine.  Characters…well, that's another story.

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Cast of Characters (in order of appearance)

(Subject to change)

Miroku Houshi—child psychologist who becomes a win-a-date to bolster his prospects in 

            the dating game

Kagome Perseus—chef of the Shard House Foundation

Kaede Press—head of Shard House Foundation

Shippou Hira—child who lives in the orphanage

Minerva Court—Kaede's cousin and Kagome's assistant

Sango Michaelson—friend of Kagome

Sesshomaru Felton—owns the corporation that funds Shard House, friend and benefactor 

            of Kagome

Rin Felton—Sesshomaru's adopted child

Inuyasha Felton—friend of Miroku, half-brother of Sesshomaru

Kouga Travers—Kagome's suitor

Mira Waters—counselor of Shard House

Muddy Waters—famous jazz musician

[Act 1]

[Scene 1.  The home of Miroku Houshi.  It is a two story building with all the modern inventions and necessities a modern player must have.  However, if one looks closely, the flat is strangely lacking in pictures of friends or loved ones. Miroku possesses all the necessary artwork to make himself a connoisseur, all the appropriate CDs and DVDs to make himself cultured and the toys a man of his consequence could ever hope to own.  However, all the things look as if they are not lived in, as if this is a home that was bought to look like this—his "perfect shirt" life which he puts on whenever he feels like it but is not really him.  "Breathing by Wires"—Juliana Theory blares from the high-tech sound system. ]

_Enter Miroku Houshi on the phone.  _[He is a good looking man of average stature.  His black hair is a little long yet always pulled back in a small pony-tail at the base of his neck. His twenty eight years only begin to show in his laughter creases, he loves to laugh.  His trim, thin but muscular body resembles a stalking panther cat; Miroku stalks his prey to seduce them to his wily ways.  He is a ladies man, however, his hands get the best of him and he cannot help but "admire the beauty" nature has so amply put before him.  He is often charming and seductive, but inside he really craves the steady love and support only a relationship can give.  He is well educated, spirituality and ethic theory his majors placing him as an expensive but brilliant child psychologist.  He does not bring his work to the table when he dates—it is often that the women of his numerous one-night-stands do not even know of his career.  Since a near death accident when he was a child, Miroku has been deeply in tune with meditation and sometimes withdraws within himself completely to ponder things.  He is a thoughtful, gentle man to those who really know him—but he will fight fiercely for what he wants.  It is often thought that the reason why he seeks sexual satisfaction from many different women instead of one is because he fears commitment, but the truth is that Miroku is afraid to be hurt.]

**Miroku**           It is honestly the best idea I've had yet.  And I've had plenty.  Do you remember the time I invented crotch less panties? ...Alright alright, it's true that I just daydreamed about them.  So, what about the time I threw that party and didn't even invite you?  I just invited all these women…Yeah; I was the only guy there!  Or the time I decided walking around naked would draw attention to ahem my rather endowed assets? …Yeah, it totally worked.  Until it worked a little…too well. …Exactly!  Can't have that, now can we?  But forget all those, listen to this.  I, Miroku Houshi, am a win-a-date! …No no, I am not going to be raffled off on just a single date.  No, some lucky lady is gonna have me on call for a month.  Do you know how many times a man can get laid in a month?  …I don't know either, I lose count, usually.  But seriously, think about it.  Not only will the raffle will win ME a permanent date with any woman but it will also bolster my potential dates for the coming months by making me known to the females in my area.  …I know that this is an absolute ingenious idea.  There isn't any possibly way it could go wrong at all.  Absolutely none.  …Well, yeah, that would be the worst case scenario but no one can resist me, come on.  laughs  alright, talk to you later.  Bye.

["Hit that"—The Offspring blares.  Miroku addresses the audience.]

**Miroku           **Anyway, I could always just go to the date naked…

_He exits._

[**Scene 2**.  Kagome Perseus' apartment.  It is a happy, comfortable place, colorful.  She has Van Gogh's "Starry Night" and "Café Terrace at Night" on her walls and the décor matches the vibrant blues and yellows presented in each work.  As opposed to Miroku's, Kagome's apartment looks lived in, simple yet perfect for her needs.  It is much smaller than Miroku's, lacking the prestigious and well-paying job that Miroku has attained.  Kagome works at the Shard House Foundation, a home for the underprivileged and orphaned children, as the Foundation's chef.  She often highlights in numerous restaurants as a guest chef and her dishes are well-received.  Her success is due to her kind benefactor, Sesshomaru Felton, who paid for her culinary education in France under the tutelage of some of the best chef's.  Felton owns the corporation that funds Shard House and is often found in the company of Kagome, who knew and met each other from Rin, the little girl which Felton adopted as a "Daddy Warbucks" type of action when he kicked off his support of the Foundation.  Kagome has repaid Felton's kindness in ways other than thanks—she has given her love to him even though when she expressed her love he could only give her friendship.  Her friends think Felton is a lost cause and often try to set her up on dates with other men to try to persuade Kagome of forgetting Felton.  Kagome refuses to give up on her kind benefactor, but resists making her intentions of love known again, for his reaction the first time hurt her. Although on the outside Kagome seems meek and weak, she has a firm constitution and fights for what is right.  She is also stubborn as hell, which has scared most of her suitors away previously.  She is not a demure housewife; she is a fiery woman who knows how to choose her fights. "Automatic"—Utada Hikaru lilts from the stereo.]

_Enter Kagome Perseus holding her  phone. _[Kagome is a sweet, beautiful girl, slight and short for her presence—she exudes confidence even though she, at times, has anything but.  She has that homely, girl-next-door comeliness; many are attracted to her humor and ability to laugh at herself.  Her smile is pure happiness and Kagome bears it well—she has not had much tragedy in her life.  Her eyes, however, share a story of hard work and determination.  Kagome's love for Felton is due to his kindness and support of not only her but the Foundation which she loves dearly.  Their friendship is hardly close, but he takes her to lunch once in a while.  She often says that she will never be able to repay to him what he gave her and he just shakes his head and turns his head away from her.  Her twenty seven years is fifteen years his junior and yet she doesn't seem to mind the age difference.  She herself has started to give up on Felton, finally going out on these dates that her friends set up for her.  However, her heart still belongs to him…]

**Kagome          **So, it wasn't my best judgment call, alright?  I mean, I should have known Sango would rope me into something stupid like this charity date thing. … I mean, it definitely is a good cause, Mom! But still, I don't want to be forced into a date with some guy. …I know it's just a raffle ticket … I know it's a slim to none chance I'll win, but still … No, Mom.  I just feel a little…well, desperate doing it. … It's the whole principle of the thing, I mean, winning a man for a month?  Seems almost primitive… I know, Mom.  I should feel lucky that I have a friend who cares about me and I should be happy that she wants me to be happy sighs … I know all this.  I just need time, Mom.  Just time. I still love Sesshomaru.  … I know he doesn't, Mom, thanks for reminding me.  …  Alright, alright! I love you too.  Bye.  

["Kate"—Ben Folds Five gently sounds from the stereo.  Kagome addresses the audience.]

**Kagome**          How can you try to forget something that hasn't even begun?  

_She exits._

[**Scene 3. **Shard House Foundation.  A large house filled to the brim with children's art in frames picture the wall.  Miroku Houshi waits in the lobby, slouched in a particularly large, comfy couch.  He is taking a break from his main office and is waiting to hear from Kaede Press, for he often helps out with the most troubling cases in the orphanage.  His current project is a one Shippou Hira, who was abandoned at the orphanage a month ago.]

_Kaede enters. Miroku stands. _[Kaede is an old woman but shows it well for her years.  She started the Shard House Foundation when she was in her early forties, her sister died leaving her money.  To support the community where she lived since birth, Kaede funded the Shard House Foundation until she received an appropriate benefactor; Sesshomaru Felton.  Her relationship with Miroku is an interesting one.  She often acts like his mother yet he flirts with her as if she was a good sixty years younger.  She enjoys his company but disapproves of his lifestyle.]

**Kaede             **Come in, child.  I have much to take to you about.  

**Miroku           **Is it about little Hira?  Or is this about other things?  Because if you're asking for a date, all you need to do is ask…

**Kaede             **[slaps Miroku's shoulder] Stop being stupid, boy.  I'm not one of "those" women.

**Miroku           **[mock affronted] I do not know what you speak of.  

**Kaede**             We can discuss your particular issues with women later, Miroku.  We need to speak about Shippou first.  [Inter-office phone rings] Hello? … Yes, Minerva.  Please send the food here.  … Oh, and bring two dishes.  … Yes, thank her for me.

**Miroku           **Is that food Minerva is bringing?  Lovely, lovely.  I'm off to the restroom then.  She is a decent looking broad, right?  [Smiles wolfishly at Kaede's disapproving look]

**Kaede             **She IS my OLDER cousin, Miroku.  [He smiles]

**Miroku           **I don't discriminate…

_He exits._

_Kagome enters holding a tray._

**Kaede             **Why are you here, child?  I thought Minerva was bringing it.  You have enough on your… [ahem] plate in the kitchen…

**Kagome**          No, I just thought I would bring it because I wanted to ask you something.  [she fiddles with her sleeve]

**Kaede             **Yes, Kagome?

**Kagome          **I was wondering if I could remove my name from the raffle.  I mean, I will still donate the money and everything but I'd rather not be in the raffle.  

**Kaede             **Dear child, is that all?  Consider it done.  

**Kagome          **Thank you so much, Kaede.  This means a lot to me.  I'll see you later!

**Kaede             **Bye.  

_She exits._

_Miroku enters._

**Miroku           **Minerva came already?  What a pity.  I spruced myself up for her.  

**Kaede             **[laughs] I don't think you would have done anything for her.  

**Miroku           **[mock pouts] Kaede, have a little faith here, please.  

**Kaede             **Let's get down to business, boy.  Shippou still isn't eating very well.  He has a strange penchant for hiding in the cloak closet located next to the kitchen.  Now, the counselor here says that there are no signs of physical abuse so she believes it may be emotional.  

**Miroku           **[stands] Ms. Waters says it's emotional?  Well, what are the factors?  Did the mother leave him?  Did his father mentally abuse him with frightening images?  Was he exposed to something too young?  Does that women actually do work?  Concluding that since there are no signs of physical abuse it must be emotional!  Did she even consider that wounds can heal?  What type of counselor do you have on staff, Kaede?

**Kaede             **Just because she dumped you doesn't mean that you have to insult her practice as well.  Just last week you were praising her abilities as a child analyst.  

**Miroku           **Things change Kaede.  And, well, flattery, at some point, becomes erroneous in the relationship…or lack there of.  And she hardly dumped me.  You cannot dump someone after a one-night stand.  There is nothing to dump.  She simply…

**Kaede             **Moved on?

**Miroku           **[shrugs shoulders] She was rubbish anyways.  Not tight—

**Kaede             **Shippou ALSO eats a frighteningly amount of custard, which they make daily in the kitchen for him since he doesn't seem to want anything else.

**Miroku           **—enough abs.  And her legs weren't—

**Kaede             **I find this worrying in itself because he isn't getting his necessary daily nutritional intake even though our chef is sneaking in vitamins ground up in the custard…

**Miroku           **—flexible at all.   [head snaps up]  Food?

**Kaede             **Were you even listening—

**Miroku           **I need to talk to Shippou.  It seems like something has scarred him deeply—he is going with his instincts—a safe place and comfort food. [starts to exit] Although custard is very fattening.  I wonder, is he a large boy? [shrugs]  Could be another issue.

_He exits._

**Kaede             **[stretches arms] Does it really matter if one is not flexible?

[**Scene 4.  **Kitchen and adjoining cloak closet.  The kitchen has all the necessities—pans hanging from the ceiling, herbs and spices decorating the walls.  Kagome is stirring another batch of custard as a child sits on a stool next to her.  This is Shippou, a seven year old with hair violently red and cute features only a little boy could attain.  You can tell from his position on the floor that he doesn't plan on moving any time soon and he seems to like the gentle affection and idle chit-chat that Kagome bestows on his child-like ears.  Kagome teaches him how to do little things in the kitchen, like toasting bread or cracking an egg to pass the time when he isn't in the cloak closet.  Kagome is worried about the child and has taken a liking to him, although most children are drawn to her peaceful, mother-like nature. Minerva Court is in the corner, shucking corn.  She is a small, mousy woman, with no real resemblance to Kaede except the frizzy brown hair that perpetually looks wind-blown in that only-an-old-lady-can-accomplish way.  She isn't feeble, but what she lacks in looks she makes up for in humor. "Sunday Morning"—Maroon 5 is on the radio]

**Kagome          **So, really, all you do is put two pieces of bread together and put whatever you want inside them.  It's simply, really.  Want to put peanut butter on this sandwich for me?

**Shippou           **[proud to be asked to do something with immense responsibility] yes!

**Kagome          **I think I might handle the jelly, it is a very difficult job, you know.

**Shippou           **I want to do it!

**Kagome          **Are you sure?  I mean, it IS very difficult.

**Shippou           **I can do it, Kagome!

**Kagome          **Alright, alright.  The jelly is in the fridge.  

**Shippou           **I don't see any in here.  

**Kagome          **Oh, that's right.  Hold on Shippou, can you wait in here with Minerva while I go get some jelly from the pantry?  

**Shippou           **I think I'll go in the closet.  [Enters closet]

**Minerva          **I've never been chosen over a closet before, but I suppose there is a first time for everything.  I do enjoy a good coat, once in a while.

**Kagome          **[shrugs and laughs] I'll be back.  

_She exits._

_Miroku enters._

**Miroku           **Good afternoon, Minerva.  You are looking particularly nice this morning.

**Minerva          **I do believe my cousin is the only one that believes your bullshit, Miroku.

**Miroku           **Oh, I would disagree with that, Minerva.  Remember, I don't _sleep_ with your cousin.  

**Minerva          **I didn't think it right to include the women that you sleep with in the same category of mental capacity as my cousin.  It's hardly fair.  

**Miroku           **As much as I'd like to stand here and chat, I have a [louder] elusive fox demon to find.  Do you, perchance, know where I could find one, kind lady?

**Minerva          **[cocks her head to the closet] No, I wouldn't sir.  We shuckers of corn tend to mind our own business.  

**Miroku           **What a pity.  I suppose I shall just give up then.

**Shippou           **[through closet] No!

**Miroku           **Did you hear something, fair lady?

**Minerva          **[through gritted teeth] I did not, _kind_ sir.  

**Miroku           **Funny, I thought I heard something from the closet.  

**Shippou           **[through closet] No!

**Miroku           **There it was again…

**Minerva          **Nothing, again, nothing.

**Miroku           **I do believe you might be deaf, lady.  I must check the closet myself.  [searches closet]

_Enter Kagome._

**Kagome          **Minerva, did you put the jelly in the first or second pantry?

**Minerva          **Second, Kagome, why?

**Kagome          **No wonder, I just pulled apart the first.  Be right back.

_She exits._

**Miroku           **Did you say something, milady?

**Minerva          **I heard nothing sir.  

**Miroku           **What the devil is going on here?

**Shippou           **You found me! [looks at Miroku] Wait a minute, you aren't Mr. Felton.  I was wondering why Mr. Felton was fun today…He usually is too busy talking to—

**Minerva          **This is Mr. Houshi, Shippou.  He is going to talk to you about a few things.  Why don't you take your custard and go sit outside.  It's such a nice day.  

**Shippou           **But what about—

**Minerva          **We'll manage here, somehow, without your help.  Go along, we'll talk to you later.

**Shippou           **Alright… [Miroku and Shippou begin to exit]

**Miroku           **Say, Shippou, do you think I could have some of your custard?

**Shippou           **[at the door]  No.

**Miroku           **Right…

_They exit._

_Kagome enters._

**Kagome          **Shippou!  I found it! … Where's Shippou?

**Minerva          **He went to go talk to the counselor.  

**Kagome          **Oh.  With Mira or…

**Minerva          **Yes.  

**Kagome          **Oh.  [shifts uncomfortably and sits down on Shippou's stool]  I didn't know he was here today.  

**Minerva          **I didn't hear anything.  

[**Scene 5.  **Shard House kitchen.  Minerva is gone.  Kagome is sitting on Shippou's stool eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  The kitchen is clean and she is about to leave.  "Immigrant Song"—Led Zepplin plays on the radio in the background]

**Kagome          **I don't know.  I just don't know anymore.  I mean, I want to think that everything is alright with me but inside I know it isn't.  He just makes me so mad sometimes!  It's so frustrating!  I can't get him out of my head and I know he isn't even thinking of me in the slightest right now—or ever, probably.  [Talks to sandwich] Do YOU think he loves me?  Do you think I should give up?  That's right…you're an inanimate object.  If you started talking I would be a little afraid.  

**Sandwich**Thinking about him again?  [Kagome jumps]

_Enter Sango._

**Sango              **[sounds remarkably like the sandwich] I said, are you thinking about him again?  Because whenever I find you sitting in the dark, you're thinking about him again.  

**Kagome          **Yeah, well, it's tough when you can't get someone off your mind!  It's not like I'm some machine and I can just press an off button to my emotions.  I'm trying to cope the best way I know how.  

**Sango              **And what's that?

**Kagome          **Wallowing.  

**Sango              **Ah. [sarcastically] The heartbreak cure-all.  

**Kagome          **I'm still on the first stage and I haven't thought of anything else yet.  ["The Remedy"—Jason Mraz comes on the radio]  Just give me time.  I'll be more creative in my masochistic cycle when I've done enough wallowing.  Leave me to my peace.

**Sango              **Honey, I'm trying to skip over this stage.  Come on, let's go out tonight.  And anyway, I'm your ride.  Come on, girlie.

**Kagome          **I'm eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, can't you see?  I'm terribly busy.  Come back another time.

**Sango              **Can I please be a part of your social life?

**Kagome          **Move along people, there's nothing to see here.  

**Sango              **Lets go.  [Pulls Kagome up] 

**Kagome          **You know I hate you right now.

**Sango              **Yes.  My only consolation is that you'll love me later, when you forget Sesshomaru.  

**Kagome          **Oh!  You are sooooooooooo lucky I like you.  

**Sango              **Hardly.  You're so lucky I like you…Lets go!  Just have this motivate you…you might win a man for a month in that raffle!  Or maybe I will…oh, tough choice there.  

_She exits._

**Kagome          **[talking to the sandwich again]  I guess this is where we part ways.  You to compost heaven and me to the trash bin.  I just hate being yesterday's garbage…

_Enter Sango_

**Sango              **Oh, and Kagome?  Did you really just think I put your name on one raffle ticket…?

_End Act 1.  _


End file.
